Today was the first day back in college and what a day it was!
I got up today and had to 'think" myself into action.I had a hard time forcing myself to go to class. I had a quiet day in class, as quiet as a first day back to class would be and then had a first time experience- stood in a crowded line, mongered for tickets and watched an amazing movie with my friends
I think I realized that the major reason why I may not mingle with everyone maybe because of my weight gain. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Its all well and good even if you are fat if you love yourself. But i ave lost my love for myself a long time ago. What I can do might be to take each day. eat with a basic mindfulness . but workout like a maniac each day.
I think that instead of wondering whether my parents will pave a way for me to study,i should try and study at least for an hour each day.
Maybe what Ms.S said is true. About all these feelings being the work of an idle mind. I was so busy today that after a while I forgot that I was supposedly feeling like crap. But I do feel that twinges of sadness throughout the day,here and there. I wish that would go away completely, but those twinges of sadness has been with me for so long, I cant remember not being without it.
I got up today and had to 'think" myself into action.I had a hard time forcing myself to go to class. I had a quiet day in class, as quiet as a first day back to class would be and then had a first time experience- stood in a crowded line, mongered for tickets and watched an amazing movie with my friends
I think I realized that the major reason why I may not mingle with everyone maybe because of my weight gain. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Its all well and good even if you are fat if you love yourself. But i ave lost my love for myself a long time ago. What I can do might be to take each day. eat with a basic mindfulness . but workout like a maniac each day.
I think that instead of wondering whether my parents will pave a way for me to study,i should try and study at least for an hour each day.
Maybe what Ms.S said is true. About all these feelings being the work of an idle mind. I was so busy today that after a while I forgot that I was supposedly feeling like crap. But I do feel that twinges of sadness throughout the day,here and there. I wish that would go away completely, but those twinges of sadness has been with me for so long, I cant remember not being without it.
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